Thank You For Visiting

Texas Bob's World

Listen with Windows Media Player Plug-in

 


 

CHRISTMAS BELLS

 

I WOKE UP CHRISTMAS EVE ABOUT 11:55 PM TO THE SOUND OF BELLS OUTSIDE MY BEDROOM WINDOW. I OPENED MY EYES AND SAT UP ON THE SIDE OF THE BED. I HAD LONG AGO STOPPED BELIEVING IN SANTA. WHAT IN SAM HILL WAS THAT! MY WIFE, JOHNNIE, WAS DEEP INTO SLEEP AND HER SNORING WAS ENOUGH TO WAKEN ME. BUT NO THERE IT WAS AGAIN - BELLS.

MY DOG BUCK GOT UP FROM HIS SPOT ON THE FLOOR AT THE END OF THE BED AND MOSEYED OVER TO MY FEET. "GOOD GRIEF WHAT IS THAT BUCK?" BUCK WAGGED HIS TAIL AND SAT DOWN ON ONE OF MY FEET AS IF TO SAY, DON'T KNOW, YOU GO SEE!

THERE IT WAS AGAIN! I PULL MY FOOT OUT FROM UNDER THE LAZY DOG AND WENT TO THE WINDOW. BUCK GOT UP AND SLOWLY FOLLOWED BEHIND ME. JOHNNIE ROUSED A BIT, "WHAT'S WRONG LOREN?" SHE TURNED OVER AND WAS GONE AGAIN BEFORE I COULD ANSWER.

"JINGLE, JINGLE, JINGLE." I PULLED BACK THE CURTAINS BUT COULDN'T SEE A BLAME THING IN THE PITCH BLACKNESS.

"I CAN'T SEE A THING, BUCK. THINK I'LL PUT MY PANTS AND BOOTS ON AND GO OUT AND HAVE A LOOK AROUND. COME ON BOY YOU’RE COMING WITH ME." AS I WHEN OUT THE BACK DOOR I REACHED OVER AND GOT MY OLD WORK JACKET OFF THE HOOK ON THE WALL.

"JINGLE, JINGLE, JINGLE." "THERE'S THAT SOUND AGAIN BUCK. WHERE'S IT COMING FROM?" THE SKY WAS CLOUDY AND EVEN THE STARLIGHT WAS DIM. I WALKED AROUND THE CORNER OF THE HOUSE. I THOUGHT I WOULD GO TO THE FRONT YARD AND SEE IF I COULD SEE ANYTHING. "COME ON BUCK." WHEN ME AND BUCK GOT TO THE FRONT YARD, BUCK RAN OUT TO THE FRONT GATE AND STARTED TO GROWL. THE HAIR ON HIS BACK WAS STANDING UP AND HE WAS ACTING LIKE HE WAS SEEING OR SMELLED SOMETHING.

JUST THEN "JINGLE, JINGLE, JINGLE" I HEARD THE SOUND OF BELLS AGAIN. IT SOUNDED LIKE IT WAS COMING FROM THE DIRT ROAD THAT RAN IN FRONT OF MY HOUSE. NOW THE HAIR ON THE BACK OF MY NECK WAS STANDING UP. "BUCK, STAY." I COMMANDED. I NEEDED BUCK TO BE QUITE SO I COULD HEAR.

JUST THEN THERE WAS A BREAK IN THE CLOUDS. IN THE STARLIGHT I COULD SEE A WHITE MULE COMING DOWN THE ROAD. THE MULE WAS PULLING A WAGON AND ITS COLLAR AND REINS WERE COVERED WITH LITTLE BELLS THAT WERE GOING "JINGLE, JINGLE, JINGLE."

LOW AND BEHOLD THERE WAS SOMEONE SITTING IN THE WAGON DRESSED IN A RED SUIT.

"HEY, BUCK WHO CAN THAT BE ALL DRESSED UP LIKE THAT OLD GUY THEY CALL SAINT NICK?"

"WOOF, WOOF," BUCK THREW IN HIS TWO CENTS.

BUT JUST AS IT WAS NEARING, LIKE MAGIC, IT DISAPPEARED, LEAVING ME AND BUCK IN AWE OF THE WHOLE MYSTERY OF IT ALL. THE BELL SOUNDS, TOO CEASED.

"WELL, OLD BUDDY; I NEVER DID BELIEVE IN SANTA ANYWAY. LET'S GO BACK TO BED."

SO ME AND BUCK TURNED AROUND AND HEADED FOR THE HOUSE.

BUCK STARTED BARKING AND TOOK OFF RUNNING AROUND THE HOUSE FOR THE BACK YARD. JINGLE, JINGLE, JINGLE. WOOF, WOOF, WOOF. "WHAT IN THE SAM HILL IS GOING ON AROUND HERE?" I STARTED WALKING AROUND THE HOUSE TO THE BACK YARD. WHEN I GOT WHERE I COULD SEE INTO THE BACK YARD, I SAW BUCK STANDING AT THE BACK FENCE BARKING. "WHAT'S THE MATTER BOY, I DON'T SEE ANYTHING OUT THERE?"

JUST THEN JINGLE, JINGLE, JINGLE, FROM IN FRONT OF THE HOUSE. WOOF, WOOF, WOOF WENT BUCK AS HE RACED ON AROUND THE HOUSE AND INTO THE FRONT YARD AGAIN. NOW I'M REALLY BEGINNING TO GET SPOOKED, I FOLLOWED BUCK ON AROUND THE HOUSE AND INTO THE FRONT YARD AGAIN.

BUCK WAS STANDING AT THE FRONT GATE BARKING LIKE MAD.

WOOF, WOOF, WOOF.
 
JINGLE, JINGLE, JINGLE.
 
WOOF, WOOF, WOOF.
     

AS I REACHED THE FRONT GATE I SAW A TENNESSEE TROTTING HORSE PULLING A ONE-HORSE SURREY UP THE ROAD. THE HARNESS AND REINS WERE COVERED WITH LITTLE BELLS.

 

JINGLE, JINGLE, JINGLE.

WOOF, WOOF,  WOOF.                          

JINGLE, JINGLE, JINGLE.

 

     

AND WHO SHOULD BE RIDING IN THE SURREY BUT THAT SAME GUY IN THE RED SUIT. HE HAD A LONG WHITE BEARD. "STAY BUCK" I SHOUTED. I DON’T BELIEVE THIS. EITHER I'M GOING CRAZY OR I'M DREAMING.

JUST THEN JOHNNIE THREW UP THE BED ROOM WINDOW AND YELLED "WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON OUT THERE?" "WHAT'S ALL THAT NOISE?" I TURNED AROUND TO POINT AT THE HORSE AND SURREY BUT THEY WERE GONE. JOHNNIE YELLED FOR ME TO GET MY TAIL INTO THE HOUSE AND SHUT THAT DOG UP. BEFORE I COULD ANSWER JOHNNIE HAD SLAMMED THE WINDOW SHUT AND WAS GONE.

"COME ON BUCK LET'S GO BACK TO BED." ME AND BUCK WENT BACK INTO THE HOUSE. I GOT UNDRESSED AND CRAWLED INTO BED WITH JOHNNIE. SHE WAS ALREADY BACK TO SLEEP AND WAS LIGHTLY SNORING. BUCK LAY DOWN ON THE FLOOR AT THE FOOT OF THE BED IN HIS ACCUSTOMED PLACE.

THEN, JINGLE, JINGLE, JINGLE. I PULLED THE COVERS UP OVER MY HEAD AS IF TO HIDE. BUCK CRAWLED UNDER THE BED AND STARTED WHINING.

JINGLE, JINGLE, JINGLE.

BUT THE NOISE WOULDN'T STOP, JINGLE, JINGLE, JINGLE; IT KEPT ON UNTIL I SAT UP ON THE SIDE OF THE BED AGAIN.

"CAN'T A FELLOW GET A DECENT NIGHTS SLEEP AROUND THIS PLACE?"

BUCK COULD BE HEARD WHINING UNDER THE BED AS IF TO SAY, "I AIN'T COMING OUT TILL DAY LIGHT!"

JOHNNIE WASN'T LETTING ANYTHING BOTHER HER. SHE ROLLED OVER AND CONTINUED HER SNORING AS I WENT TO THE BACK DOOR AND GRABBED MY 22 RIFLE BEFORE GOING OUT THE BACK DOOR BAREFOOT IN MY LONG UNDERWEAR!

"I'M GOING TO SHOOT THE BACK SIDE OF WHOEVER IT IS OUT HERE MAKING THAT NOISE," I SAID AS I POINTED THE GUN TOWARD THE BACK FORTY!!!

BUCK WAS STILL UNDER THE BED WHINING LIKE SOME SICK PUPPY.

ABOUT THAT TIME JOHNNIE JUMPED OUT OF BED AND OPENED THE CLOSET DOOR. SHE REACHED INTO THE CLOSET AND GRABBED MY DOUBLE BARREL 12-GAGE SHOTGUN. THEN SHE REACHED UP ON THE SHELF AND TOOK DOWN THE BOX OF SHELLS. SHE LOADED BOTH BARRELS OF THE SHOTGUN AND MARCHED TO THE BACK DOOR.

JINGLE, JINGLE, JINGLE WENT THAT NOISE. SHE THREW OPEN THE DOOR AND LOOKED OUT. SHE SAW SOMETHING WHITE OUT BY THE BACK FENCE. IN THE DIM STARLIGHT SHE COULDN'T TELL WHAT IT WAS BUT THAT'S WHERE THE SOUND WAS COMING FROM. SHE STUCK THE SHOTGUN OUT THE DOOR AND PULLED BOTH TRIGGERS.

HEARING THE GUN GO OFF BUCK CAME CHARGING OUT OF THE BEDROOM AND RAN OUT INTO THE YARD. HIS OLD INSTINCT OF A RETRIEVER HAD KICKED IN. THAT WHITE THING LET OUT A BLOOD-CURDLING SCREAM AND FELL OVER ON THE GROUND. JOHNNIE SLAMMED THE DOOR CLOSED AND RAN FOR THE BEDROOM. WOOF, WOOF, WOOF BUCK WAS BARKING LIKE MAD OUT THERE. AT LEST THERE WAS NO MORE JINGLE, JINGLE, JINGLE.

THEN JOHNNIE HEARD SOMETHING AT THE BACK DOOR TRYING TO GET IN. SHE QUICKLY LOADED THE SHOTGUN AGAIN AND STOOD AT THE KITCHEN DOOR WITH THE SHOTGUN POINTED AT THE BACK DOOR. WOOF, WOOF, WOOF BUCK WAS STILL GOING CRAZY OUT THERE. THEN THE BACK DOOR SLOWLY OPENED AND

" THERE I STOOD WITH A SHOT GUN BLAST THROUGH THE SEAT OF MY LONG JOHNS, "WHAT ARE YOU DOING JOHNNIE YOU BOUT LAID ME OUT GOOD WOMAN! IF THIS LONG UNDERWEAR HADN'T BEEN THREE SIZES TOO BIG I'D BE A DEAD MAN LAYING OUT THERE WITH OLD MAN SNYDER'S COW! NOW HOW YOU GOING TO EXPLAIN THAT DEAD ALBINO COW WITH BELLS AROUND HIS NECK AND A SHOT GUN BLAST UP HIS BACKSIDE?"

"LOREN WHAT ARE YOU DOING OUTSIDE AGAIN I THOUGHT YOU CAME BACK IN AWHILE AGO AND WENT BACK TO BED. LOREN IS THAT BLOOD RUNNING DOWN YOUR BACKSIDE? GET IN HERE LOREN LETS HAVE A LOOK AT YOU. LAY DOWN ON THE BED HERE QUICK LET ME HAVE A LOOK SEE!"

ABOUT THAT TIME THERE CAME A KNOCK AT THE FRONT DOOR. BUCK COULD BE HEARD ROUNDING THE CORNER OUTSIDE THE HOUSE, "WOOF, WOOF."

"WHO CAN THAT BE THIS TIME OF NIGHT, CAN YOU HOLD ON LOREN LET ME GO CHECK OUT THE DOOR, I'M BE RIGHT BACK DON'T MOVE!"

JOHNNIE HOLLERED THROUGH THE DOOR, "WHO'S THERE, WHO IS IT?"

"IT'S ME JOHNNIE, SHERIFF JOE"

JOHNNIE OPENED THE DOOR AND OLD JOE LOOKED LIKE HE JUST SAW A GHOST.

"HELP ME JOHNNIE, HELP ME!"

JOHNNIE STEPPED ASIDE AND LET JOE INTO THE HOUSE. "JOE WHAT'S WRONG? HOW CAN I HELP YOU?" "MR. SNYDER CALLED ME AND SAID SOMEONE WAS STEALING HIS COW. YOU KNOW THAT ALBINO ONE THAT HE PUTS SO MUCH STOCK IN. HE EVEN HAS BELLS HUNG AROUND ITS NECK." "WELL HE HEARD SOMEONE DRIVING HIS COW DOWN THE ROAD. HE COULD TELL BY THE SOUNDS OF THE BELLS GOING JINGLE, JINGLE, JINGLE."

"ANYWAY WHEN I GOT OUT HERE THE COW WAS BACK IN THE PASTURE BEHIND YOUR HOUSE." "I WALKED OUT THERE TO MAKE SURE IT WAS MR. SNYDER'S COW, YOU KNOW THE LIGHT BEING SO DIM." "JUST AS I GOT CLOSE TO THE COW SOMEONE TOOK A COUPLE OF SHOTS AT ME WITH A SHOTGUN." "THEY MISSED ME BUT THEY KILLED OLD MAN SNYDER'S COW."

"JOHNNIE I DON'T EVEN HAVE MY GUN ON. SOME SHERIFF I AM." "YOU GOT A GUN OF SOME KIND I CAN BORROW?" BUCK HAD FOLLOWED THE SHERIFF INTO THE HOUSE AND HAD GONE INTO THE BEDROOM WHERE LOREN WAS. WOOF, WOOF, WOOF WENT BUCK. JOHNNIE AND THE SHERIFF RAN INTO THE BEDROOM. LOREN HAD PASSED OUT ON THE BED. SHERIFF JOE SAW THE BLOOD ON LOREN'S BACK SIDE AND ASKED JOHNNIE WHAT HAD HAPPENED TO HIM.

"I DON'T RIGHTLY KNOW SHERIFF, ITS BEEN A STRANGE NIGHT AROUND HERE!"

I SAT UP STRAIGHT ON THE BED. "JINGLE BELLS, JINGLE BELLS, JINGLE ALL THE WAY!" I BEGIN TO SING AND BUCK STARTED HOWLING!

"OH WHAT FUN, IT IS TO FOOL JOHNNIE ON CHRISTMAS EVE," THE SHERIFF SANG!

WE PULLED ONE OVER ON YOU JOHNNIE. BUT WE THOUGHT YOU NEVER WOULD WAKE UP LONG ENOUGH TO HEAR THEM STUPID BELLS THE SHERIFF WAS RINGING OUTSIDE THE WINDOW.

"I FOUND HIM OUT THERE WHEN I WAS LOOKING FOR THEM MYSELF. WONDER WE ALL DIDN'T GET SHOT. MERRY CHRISTMAS JOHNNIE," I SAID.

"YOU TWO OLD FOOLS GET OUT OF MY BEDROOM. I'M GOING BACK TO BED!"

ME AND JOE WALKED BACK INTO THE KITCHEN. BUCK FOLLOWED US. I MADE A POT OF COFFEE AND JOE GAVE BUCK A MILK BONE TREAT OUT OF THE BOWL ON TOP OF THE REFRIGERATOR. BUCK LAY DOWN ON THE FLOOR IN FRONT OF THE REFRIGERATOR TO CHEW ON HIS BONE. ME AND JOE SAT DOWN AT THE TABLE WITH A HOT MUG OF COFFEE TO TALK ABOUT THE JOKE WE HAD PULLED ON JOHNNIE.

"JOE WHERE IN THE WORLD DID YOU GET THAT WHITE MULE AND OLD WAGON?" I ASKED. "WHAT MULE?" JOE WANTED TO KNOW. "THE ONE YOU SENT DOWN THE ROAD IN FRONT OF THE HOUSE." "YOU KNOW THE ONE WITH ALL THE BELLS ON IT." I SAID. JOE SAT THERE WITH A BLANK LOOK ON HIS FACE. "I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOUR TALKING ABOUT." "COME ON JOE THE JOKE IS OVER. TELL ME ABOUT THE WHITE MULE AND THE TENNESSEE TROTTING HORSE."

"MAYBE YOU BETTER TELL ME." JOE SAID WITH A STRANGE LOOK ON HIS FACE. "JOE ARE YOU TELLING ME THAT YOU HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH THE MULE AND HORSE." "I GUESS YOU’RE GOING TO TELL ME YOU HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH THE OLD MAN IN THE RED SUIT EITHER." NOW JOE WAS GETTING UPSET. HE TOLD ME TO STOP KIDDING AROUND. NOW BOTH JOE AND I WERE GETTING UPSET.

JUST THEN THERE WAS A BIG BANG AND CRASH ON THE ROOF OF THE HOUSE AND THEY HEARD JINGLE, JINGLE, JINGLE. BUCK CREPT OVER UNDER THE TABLE WITH HIS TAIL BETWEEN HIS LEGS AND LAID DOWN ON MY FEET. JOE LOOKED OVER ON THE FLOOR WHERE HE HAD THROWN DOWN THE BELLS HE HAD USED AND THEY WERE STILL THERE. JOHNNIE CAME CHARGING OUT OF THE BEDROOM SAYING, "WHAT ARE YOU TWO OLD COOTS DOING NOW."

SHE STOPPED SHORT WHEN SHE SAW THEM SITTING AT THE TABLE WITH SCARED LOOKS ON THEIR FACES. JINGLE, JINGLE, JINGLE WENT THOSE BELLS AGAIN. THERE WAS MORE CRASHING ON THE ROOF. THEN THEY HEARD A VOICE LAUGHING, "HO, HO, HO."

ALL THREE OF THEM RAN OUT INTO THE BACK YARD AND LOOKED UP ON THE ROOF. BUT THERE WAS NOTHING THERE. THEY LOOKED AT EACH OTHER BUT NO ONE SAID A WORD. THEY WENT BACK INTO THE HOUSE AND THERE WAS BUCK STANDING NEXT TO THE TABLE WITH A BIG JUICY HAM BONE IN HIS MOUTH. ON THE TABLE WAS A PILE OF GAILY WRAPPED PACKAGES. EACH PACKAGE HAD A NAME TAG ON IT. THERE WERE SEVERAL FOR EACH OF THEM.

NOW I'M 72 YEARS OLD AND I STOPPED BELIEVING IN SANTA A LONG TIME AGO BUT …..

THE END

BY LOREN MOORE

  2004

 

 

 JOIN OUR FREE MAIL LIST?

  CLICK ON THE RED HEART

.......................................................................................................................................................................

.

I would love to hear your comments on the pages we prepare  and recommend, we enjoy doing it for your pleasure, our pleasure is receiving your comments.

Page design By: Texas Bob

Visitors to the site since 7-12-03

free web counter