DOG MAIL
RECENTLY WE HAD SOME BAD
STORMS IN ARLINGTON,
TEXAS. THAT’S WHERE I
LIVE. OUR ELECTRICITY
WAS KNOCKED OUT FOR 48
HOURS. NO LIGHTS, NO
AIR CONDITIONING AND NO
COLD REFRIGERATOR TO
KEEP FOOD FROM
SPOILING. WE LOST
EVERYTHING IN THE
REFRIGERATOR AND THE
FREEZER.
NOW THIS IS ALL BAD BUT
IT’S NOT THE WORST THING
ABOUT THE BLACK OUT.
THE WORST THING IS NO
EMAIL. YES YOU HEARD ME
RIGHT. NO EMAIL IS
WORSE THAN LOOSING ALL
THAT FOOD. NO EMAIL IS
WORSE THAN NO AIR
CONDITIONING, EVEN
THOUGHT THE TEMPERATURE
WAS IN THE 80’s.
WE HAD FOUR FLASH LIGHTS
SO WE MADE DO WITH OUT
LIGHTS IN THE HOUSE. WE
JUST WENT TO BED WHEN IT
GOT DARK. BUT WITHOUT
EMAIL I COULDN’T SLEEP.
I MUST HAVE TOSSED AND
TURNED ALL NIGHT.
THE NEXT EVENING LITTLE
FOX AND I WERE SITTING
OUT ON THE FRONT PORCH.
LITTLE FOX WONDERED OFF
TO THE SIDE OF THE HOUSE
OUT OF MY SIGHT, SHE WAS
GONE FOR SEVERAL MINUTES
AND WHEN SHE CAME BACK,
SHE HAD A PIECE OF PAPER
ATTACHED TO HER
COLLIER.
“NOW WHAT IS THIS?” I
SAID TO MYSELF.
I REACHED DOWN AND
PULLED THE PIECE OF
PAPER OFF HER COLLIER
AND IT HAD SOME WRITING
ON IT AND THIS IS WHAT
IT SAID:
“NO EMAIL WITH THE POWER
OUT. JUST DOG MAIL!”
IT EVEN HAD AN EMAIL
ADDRESS ON IT.
J.E.BURTON@DOG.NET
BURTON IS MY NEIGHBOR
THAT GAVE US LITTLE
FOX. ANYTIME SHE SEES
HIM OUT SIDE SHE RUNS
OVER TO SAY HELLO. THEN
SHE COMES STRAIGHT BACK
HOME.
JAMES KNEW THIS AND WAS
READY TO SEND ME DOG
MAIL NEXT TIME HE SAW
HER OUT.
I GUESS HE WAS SUFFERING
AS BADLY AS I WAS WITH
NO EMAIL.
WHEN I SHOWED JOHNNIE MY
DOG MAIL, SHE ABOUT
CROCKED WITH LAUGHTER.
SHE SAID, “ONLY JAMES
COULD THINK OF THIS.”
WELL I WROTE OUT MY DOG
MAIL AND HAD IT READY
FOR THE NEXT TIME I SAW
JAMES OUTSIDE. IT SAID
… BUT NO THAT’S A WHOLE
NOTHER STORY FOR A
DIFFERENT TIME. IT IS A
HUMDINGER OF A STORY.
IT HAS TO DO WITH THE
WAY JAMES AND I PALAVER.