EILEEN, THE HUNDRED
POUND LADY RUSHED OUT TO THE CURB, GRABBED THE BOX AND THREW IT UP INTO
THE TRUCK.WHEN JOHNNIE AND I LIVED ON
DARLENE STREET HERE IN ARLINGTON, WE HAD SOME NEIGHBORS THAT LIVED
ACROSS THE STREET FROM US THAT WERE GOOD FRIENDS. IN FACT EILEEN AND
JOHNNIE WERE BOSOM BUDDIES. THEY DID EVERYTHING TOGETHER.
ONE DAY JOHNNIE READ IN OUR LOCAL PAPER THAT A
FARMER SOUTH OF TOWN WAS SELLING HIS PEACHES FOR $8 A BUSHEL IF YOU
PICKED THEM YOURSELF. SO JOHNNIE AND EILEEN JUMPED IN OUR STATION WAGON
AND OFF THEY WENT TO PICK PEACHES. THEY PICKED TWO BUSHELS AND BROUGHT
THEM BACK TO OUR HOUSE. ON THE WAY BACK JOHNNIE SAW A BUNCH OF CHICKEN
HOUSES WITH BIG PILES OF CHICKEN MANURE AT THE END OF EACH HOUSE. BUT
THAT’S A WHOLE NOTHER STORY FOR A DIFFERENT TIME.
WHEN JOHNNIE AND EILEEN GOT BACK TO OUR HOUSE,
THEY BROUGHT THE TWO BUSHELS INTO THE HOUSE, PEALED THEM, CUT THEM UP
AND PUT THEM IN ZIP LOCK BAGS. JOHNNIE PUT HER BUSHEL IN OUR FREEZER AND
HELPED EILEEN CARRY HERS ACROSS THE STREET AND PUT THEM IN HER FREEZER.
THE NEXT DAY WHEN THEY WERE TAKING THEIR MID-MORNING COFFEE BREAK,
JOHNNIE SAID SHE NEEDED TO PULL THE WEEDS OUT OF HER FRONT YARD. SO WHEN
THEY WERE THROUGH WITH THERE COFFEE, THEY WENT OUT IN THE FRONT YARD,
SIT DOWN ON THEIR BUTTS AND STARTED PULLING WEEDS. THE NEXT MORNING
THEIR COFFEE BREAK WAS AT EILEEN’S HOUSE. THEY SWAPPED BACK AND FORTH
EVERY DAY. WHEN THEY FINISHED THEIR COFFEE THEY WENT OUT INTO EILEEN’S
FRONT YARD. EILEEN SAID THERE’S GOT TO BE AN EASIER WAY TO GET RED OF
THE WEEDS THAN SCOOTING AROUND ON OUR BUTTS. SO SHE WENT TO HER GARAGE
AND CAME BACK WITH TWO SHOVELS AND A BOX. EILEEN AND JOHNNIE DUG UP THE
WEEDS AND DUMPED THEM AND THE LITTLE CLODS OF DIRT IN THE BOX. WHEN THEY
WERE THROUGH JOHNNIE SCOOTED THE BOX OVER TO THE CURB FOR THE TRASH
TRUCK TO PICK UP WHILE EILEEN PUT THE SHOVELS BACK IN THE GARAGE.
EILEEN WENT IN HER HOUSE AND BROUGHT OUT TWO
COKES AND HANDED JOHNNIE ONE. THEY WERE STANDING THERE ON THE DRIVE WAY
LOOKING OVER EILEEN’S FRONT YARD TO SEE IF THEY HAD MISSED ANY WEEDS AND
DRINKING THEIR COKES. JUST THEN THE TRASH TRUCK TURNED INTO OUR STREET.
AS THE TRUCK DRIVES DOWN THE STREET TWO MEN,
ONE ON EACH SIDE OF THE STREET, RUN ALONG, PICK UP THE TRASH AND THROW
IT IN THE BACK OF THE TRUCK. AS THE TRUCK GETS TO EILEEN’S HOUSE THE MAN
ON HER SIDE OF THE STREET STARTS TO PICK UP THE BOX OF WEEDS AND DIRT.
HE DOESN’T GET IT OFF THE GROUND. THE TRUCK
STOPS AND WAITS ON HIM. HE STARTS TO WALK ON DOWN THE STREET AND EILEEN
HOLLERS, "WAIT A MINUTE. AREN’T YOU GOING TO TAKE MY TRASH?" THE TRUCK
DRIVER STEPS OUT ON THE RUNNING BOARD TO SEE WHAT THE HOLLERING IS ALL
ABOUT.
THE MAN RUNNING ALONG BEHIND THE TRUCK SAYS,
"LADY THAT BOX IS TOO HEAVY. I CAN’T LIFT IT." THAT’S WHEN THIS 28 YEAR
OLD, 5 FOOT TALL, 100 POUND EILEEN RAN OVER, GRABBED THE BOX AND THREW
IT IN THE BACK OF THE TRASH TRUCK. THE TRUCK DRIVER STARTED LAUGHING.
JOHNNIE STOOD THERE CLAPPING HER HANDS. THE MAN DUCKED HIS HEAD AND RAN
FOR THE NEXT HOUSE. AS THE TRASH TRUCK STARTED ON DOWN THE STREET THE
DRIVER HONKED HIS HORN IN SALUTE TO EILEEN.