Thank You For Visiting

Texas Bob's World

Operator:     "Thank you for calling Pizza Central. May I have your..."

Customer:   "Hi, this is Mike Kilgore, I'd like to order....."

Operator:    "May I have your NIDN first, sir?"

Customer:   "My National ID Number, yeah, hold on, ah, it's
                                    6102049998-666-5461029874."

Operator:    "Thank you, Mr. Kilgore. Please hold the speaker portion of the phone up to your forehead so I can verify the number....I'm sorry sir, the number isn't valid, was the the chip placed in the back of your hand? Try holding the phone there."

 Thank you sir, the number has been verified. I see you live at 1742 Meadowland Drive, and the phone number's 494-2366. Your office number over at Preferred Insurance is 745-2302 and your cell number's 266-2566. Which number are you calling from, sir?"

Customer:   "Huh? I'm at home. Where d'ya get all this information?"

Operator:     "We're wired into the system, sir."

Customer:    (Sighs) "Oh, well, I'd like to order a couple of your All-Meat Special pizzas..."

Operator:      "I don't think that's a good idea, sir."

Customer:     "Whaddya mean?"

Operator:       "Sir, your medical records indicate that you've got very high blood pressure and extremely high cholesterol. Your National Health Care provider won't allow such an unhealthy choice."

Customer:      "Damn..... What do you recommend, then?"

Operator:       "You might try our low-fat Soybean Yogurt Pizza. I'm sure you'll like it"

Customer:     "What makes you think I'd like something like that?"

Operator:      "Well, you checked out 'Gourmet Soybean Recipes' from your local library last week, sir. That's why I made the suggestion."

Customer:     "All right, all right. Give me two family-sized ones, then. What's the damage?"

Operator:      "That should be plenty for you, your wife and your four kids, sir. The 'damage,' as you put it, heh, heh, comes $49.99."

Customer:     "Lemme give you my credit card number."

Operator:       "I'm sorry sir, but I'm afraid you'll have to pay in cash. Your credit card balance is over its limit."

Customer:      "I'll run over to the ATM and get some cash before your driver gets here."

Operator:       "That won't work either, sir. Your checking account's overdrawn."

Customer:      "Never mind. Just send the pizzas. I'll have the cash ready. How long will it take?"

Operator:       "We're running a little behind, sir. It'll be about 45 minutes, sir. If you're in a hurry you might want to pick 'em up while you're out getting the cash, but carrying pizzas on a motorcycle can be a little awkward."

Customer:      "How the hell do you know I'm riding a bike?"

Operator:        "It says here you're in arrears on your car payments, so your car got repo'ed. But your Harley's paid up, so I just assumed that you'd be using it."

Customer:       "@#%/$@&?#!"

Operator:        "I'd advise watching your language, sir. You've already got a July of 2007 conviction for cussing out a cop."

Customer:       (Speechless)

Operator:        "Will there be anything else, sir?"

Customer:       "No, nothing. oh, yeah, don't forget the two free liters of Coke your ad says I get with the pizzas."

Operator:         "I'm sorry sir, but our ad's exclusionary clause prevents us from offering free soda to diabetics." Your pizzas should be ready to pick up in about 20 minutes. Thank you for calling Pizza Central."
 

My Friends, a small portion of the above was sent to me as a joke, but believe me, it is no joke. I have added, deleted, and revised it to show a true picture of where we are headed, in accordance with scripture from the Holy Bible.