PAYING TUITION  

ONE CHRISTMAS MY OLDEST GRANDDAUGHTER AMANDA AND HER FAMILY, HER HUSBAND CLINT AND HER DAUGHTER CHIVONA LYNN, CAME TO VISIT FOR THE HOLIDAYS. THEY CAME IN ON FRIDAY NIGHT. THE NEXT MORNING AT BREAKFAST TIME I GOT UP BEFORE EVERYONE ELSE AND WAS COOKING BACON, EGGS, AND BISCUITS. WHEN AMANDA CAME INTO THE KITCHEN SHE SAID "DA" “I DIDN'T KNOW YOU COULD COOK.” “AMANDA” SAYS I, “THERE ARE A LOT OF THINGS ABOUT ME YOU DON'T KNOW. I WAS A SHORT ORDER COOK FOR OVER 27 YEARS.”

“WELL, DA, I THOUGHT YOU WORKED FOR GENERAL MOTORS FOR 40 YEARS.” “I DID” SAYS I, “BUT I WAS A SHORT ORDER COOK TOO.” “WELL, HOW COULD YOU DO THAT AND WORK FOR GENERAL MOTORS?” I TOLD HER I WAS THE COOK FOR OUR DEER LEASE AT LLANO FOR 27 YEARS. I HAD EIGHT PEOPLE I COOKED FOR REGULARLY. EACH MORNING AS THE GUYS WOULD COME IN FROM HUNTING I WOULD TAKE THEIR ORDERS AND COOK HAM, HOT BISCUITS, GRAVY, AND THEIR EGGS ANY WAY THEY WANTED THEM COOKED. ISN'T THAT WHAT A SHORT ORDER COOK DOES? FOR LUNCH, WE WOULD HAVE "SAMWITCHES". AT DINNER, SOMETIMES THE HUNTERS FROM THE ADJOINING LEASE WOULD COME OVER FOR A FISH FRY. AT THOSE TIMES, I WOULD HAVE TWO WEAVELS BUT THAT'S A 'WHOLE NOTHER STORY FOR A DIFFERENT TIME.

I EXPLAINED TO HER WHAT A WEAVEL WAS DURING BREAKFAST. AFTER SHE FINISHED EATING, I SAID “AMANDA, YOUR GOING TO COLLEGE TO GET YOUR DEGREE IN NURSING AND YOU HAVE TO PAY TUITION FOR YOUR LESSONS DON'T YOU?’ ‘YES,’ SHE SAID, HESITANTLY. YOU COULD SEE ON HER FACE THAT SHE WAS SUSPICIOUS OF THE QUESTION. “WELL, FOR THIS EDUCATION YOU JUST RECEIVED ABOUT THE WEAVELS, YOU'VE GOT TO PAY SOME TUITION.”

“WELL DA,” SHE SAID, “HOW MUCH IS IT GOING TO COST ME?” “IT'S GOING TO COST YOU …..WELL, INSTEAD OF CASH MONEY MAYBE WE CAN DO SOME TRADING. I'LL TRADE YOU THESE LESSONS I'VE JUST TAUGHT YOU FOR SOME LABOR, INSTEAD OF CASH MONEY.” SHE KIND OF LOOKED AT ME OUT OF THE CORNER OF HER EYE AND ASKED  “WHAT KIND OF LABOR?” “YOU CAN WASH THE DISHES AND CLEAN UP THE KITCHEN.”  SHE KIND OF CHUCKLED AND SAID “I INTENDED TO DO THAT ANYWAY, YOU KNOW I'LL TAKE CARE OF YOU.” “WE'LL LET GRANNY SIT OVER THERE AND LOOK AFTER DOODLEBUG, (THAT'S WHAT I CALL MY GREAT GRANDDAUGHTER) WHILE YOU ARE CLEANING UP IN THE KITCHEN.” “OK, THAT WILL BE FINE,” SHE SAID, “GRANNY LIKES TO PLAY WITH DOODLEBUG AND DOODLEBUG LIKES TO PLAY WITH GRANNY. THEY CAN HAVE A GOOD TIME WHILE I'M DOING DISHES. THAT WILL KEEP DOODLEBUG OUT OF MY WAY.”

AS SHE WAS CLEANING THE KITCHEN, CLINT AND I WERE STILL SITTING AT THE TABLE~ DRINKING COFFEE. I SAID, “AMANDA” AND I MUST HAVE HAD THAT TONE IN MY VOICE AGAIN BECAUSE SHE LOOKED AT HER HUSBAND AS IF TO SAY,NOW WHAT! “WHAT IS THE GOING RATE FOR BABY SITTING?”
AMANDA SAID, "DA!"
CLINT SAID, "DA!"
GRANNY SAID, DA!"

I SAID, “NOW WAIT A MINUTE ISN'T GRANNY BABY SITTING FOR YOU WHILE YOU'RE PAYING TUITION?” “WELL, YES.” “WELL, WHAT IS THE GOING RATE FOR BABY SITTING?” SHE SAID, “I REALLY DON'T KNOW.” A LITTLE TOO SHARPLY, I THOUGHT. “WE CAN'T AFFORD A BABY SITTER. WE JUST ALWAYS HAVE A LOT OF CLINT'S FAMILY AROUND THAT WILL BABY SIT FOR US.”

     “HERE IN TOWN, THE GOING RATE IS ABOUT $5 AN HOUR.” "OH," SHE SAID. “DON'T YOU THINK IT WOULD BE NICE OF YOU TO PAY GRANNY FOR THE BABY SITTING AFTER ALL, SHE IS DOING YOU A FAVOR KEEPING DOODLEBUG OUT OF THE WAY?” “WELL---I GUESS SO.” SHE SAID. “YOU KNOW, USUALLY WHEN A COUPLE GOES OUT FOR THE NIGHT, IT S THE HUSBAND THAT PAYS THE BABY SITTER, NOT THE WIFE. SO, INSTEAD OF YOU PAYING FOR THE BABY SITTING, YOUR HUSBAND, CLINT SHOULD PAY.”

     "YEAH!," SHE SAID, PERKING UP A WHOLE BUNCH. “CLINT, IT SOUNDS LIKE A GOOD IDEA TO ME. YOU PAY GRANNY.” CLINT SAID, "MMMMMM. OH, ALL RIGHT. HOW LONG IS IT GOING TO TAKE YOU TO CLEAN UP THE KITCHEN? HOW MUCH AM I GOING TO HAVE TO PAY HER?” “NOW WAIT A MINUTE, CLINT. WE AREN'T ALL THAT HARD. WE WILL GIVE YOU A CUT RATE. IN FACT, WE CAN PROBABLY TRADE OUT ON THE BABY SITTING, TOO. AT $5 AN HOUR FOR BABY SITTING, LET'S TRADE FOR $5 AN HOUR OF LABOR FROM YOU. DOES THAT SOUND FAIR TO YOU?” "MMMM." HE SAID, “SOMEHOW I THINK YOU HAD THIS PLANNED LONG BEFORE WE CAME FOR THIS VISIT.”

 I HAD TO TURN AWAY TO KEEP FROM LAUGHING.  CLINT AND I CAME TO AN AGREEMENT. HE WOULD GIVE ME AN HOUR'S WORTH OF LABOR FOR AN HOUR'S WORTH OF BABY SITTING. I SAID, “FINE, I'VE GOT A TREE IN THE BACK YARD THAT NEEDS CUTTING DOWN. I'M GETTING TOO OLD AND FEEBLE TO DO THAT BY MYSELF. YOU WANT TO GET THE CHAIN SAW OUT OF THE BARN AND WE WILL GET STARTED. YOU KNOW, AFTER WE CUT IT DOWN, YOU CAN EVEN HAUL IT OFF IN YOUR PICKUP FOR ME. THAT WAY, I WOULDN'T HAVE TO PAY SOMEONE TO HAUL IT OFF.” “YEAH, OK. BUT, I STILL THINK YOU HAD ALL THIS PLANNED BEFORE WE CAME.” “CLINT, NOW WOULD I DO SOMETHING LIKE THAT?” HIS ONLY ANSWER WAS "MMMM"

WELL, CLINT'S A PRETTY GOOD BOY AND I KIND OF LIKE HIM. WE HAVE A LOT IN COMMON. WE BOTH LIKE TO HUNT AND FISH.  SO I TRY TO PASS A LITTLE BIT OF WISDOM ALONG TO HIM FROM TIME TO TIME. I SAID, “CLINT, THIS IS A LESSON I WAS TEACHING YOU ABOUT BEING A GOOD GRAND-SON-IN-LAW.

HE SAID, “I DON'T WANT ANYMORE LESSONS. I CAN'T AFFORD THE TUITION!”