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POOR BILL CLINTON

When Bill and Hillary first got married Bill said,
"I am putting a box under the bed.

You must promise never to look in it."
 

In all their 30 years of marriage Hillary never looked.
 

However, on the afternoon of their 30th anniversary,
curiosity got the best of her and she lifted the lid and peeked inside. In the box were 3 empty beer cans and $81,874.25 in cash. She closed the box and put it back under the bed.
 

 Now that she knew what was in the box, she was doubly curious as to why.
 

That evening they were out for a special dinner.
After dinner Hillary could no longer contain her curiosity and she confessed, saying, I am so sorry, "For all these years I kept my promise and never looked into the box under our bed. However, today the temptation was too much and I gave in. But now I need to know, why do you keep the cans in the box?"
 

Bill thought for a while and said, "I guess after all these years you deserve to know the truth. Whenever I was unfaithful to you I put an empty beer can in the box under the bed to remind myself not to do it again."
 

 Hillary was shocked, but said, "Hmmm, Jennifer, Paula and Monica. I am very disappointed and saddened but temptation does happen and I guess that 3 times is not that bad considering the years."
They hugged and made their peace.

 A little while later Hillary asked Bill,
"So why do you have all that money in the box?"
Bill answered, "Well, whenever the box filled up with empty cans, I took them to the recycling center and redeemed them for cash.
 

 



Bill finds a genie and thinks he's going to get the standard three  wishes.
 
TheGenie said, "Nope...Due to inflation, constant downswing, low wages in third world countries, and fierce global competition, I can only grant you one wish. So...What'll it be?"

Bill didn't hesitate. He said, "I want to be remembered for bringing peace in the Middle East, instead of that other stuff with Monica, and Jennifer,and the rest of those women.
 
See this map? I want these countries to stop fighting with each other."

The Genie looked at the map of the Middle East and exclaimed, "Jeez, Fella! These people have been at war for thousands of years. I'm good, but not THAT good. I don't think it can be done. Make another wish."

Bill thought for a minute and said,
"You know, people really don't like my wife.
Even though she got elected, they call her a carpetbagger. They think she 's mean, ugly, and pushes me around. I wish for her to be the most beautiful woman in the world and I want everybody to like her. That's what I want."

The Genie let out a long sigh and said,
"Lemme see that map again."
THE TRAIN RIDE

 
In a train carriage there was Bill Clinton,
George Bush, Janet Reno and Bo Derek.
After several minutes of the trip, the train
passes through a dark tunnel and the
unmistakable sound of a slap is heard.


When they leave the tunnel, Clinton
has a big red slap mark on his cheek.

 
(1) Bo Derek thought - "That sleazeball
Clinton wanted to touch me and  by
mistake, he must have put his hand on
Janet Reno, who in turn must have
slapped his face."

 
(2) Janet Reno thought -
"That dirty Bill Clinton laid his hands
on Bo Derek and she smacked him."


(3) Bill Clinton thought - "George put
his hand on Bo Derek and by mistake
she slapped me."


(4) George Bush thought - "I hope
there's another tunnel soon so I can
smack Clinton again."

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