|
||||||
|
IT'S TRUE, REALLY TRUE News Flashes
Trees began to talk today in upstate New York. They praised the
conservationists and gave instructions on the building of squirrels'
nests. Oaks spoke loudest.
Bananas in a produce market in Van Nuys this morning shocked shoppers when
they rose, balanced on their ends, started doing the Macarena, and scared
the heads of Romaine into instant wilt.
Dogs
in Kalamazoo early tonight mystified their owners when regardless what
breed, they all assembled in a southeast residential cul-de-sac.
Residents swear they heard them all beckoning "Here, Kitty kitty."
Starbucks coffee shops across the nation today were baffled when staff
reported their styrofoam cups shot to the ceiling in perfect columns,
fanned out, turned right side up, and descended back into their original
positions from all directions.
Bus
operators across Kansas City today reported that exactly at noon their
doors opened, white filmy opaque passengers boarded, and sat in all
passengers' laps.
A
man in Phoenix entered an emergency room near downtown late this afternoon
dumbfounded. The man said he stepped on his pop-up kitchen trash can
pedal, the lid opened, and his ear fell off. Surgeons successfully
reattached the ear. A nurse in recovery who asked not to be identified
said the man claimed he could now could only half-hear.
All
eyes were on Cheyenne today in a tri-state Rodeo, eagerly awaiting what
had been billed as the "biggest bull this side of the Mississippi". The
crowd cheered when a slender bull was released bearing a paperboard
sandwich sign reading "Iraqi State Television."
Cher
today grew fat.
Peter Arnett today shaved his comb-over.
Robins sing in all the trees, bluebirds, cardinals, chickadees
Bradford pears in fluffy white,
seventies days, forties nights... ...Let's hold strong together as we go
through this war.... Happy April Fools.
|
||||||||||||||
PLEASE CLICK THE SIGN ABOVE |
..