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* *
RECALL NOTICE
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The Maker of all human
beings is recalling all
units manufactured,
regardless of make or year,
due to the serious defect in
the primary and central
component of the heart. This
is due to a malfunction in
the original prototype units
code named Adam and Eve,
resulting in the
reproduction of the same
defect in all subsequent
units.
This defect has been
technically termed,
"Sub-sequential Internal
Non-morality, "or more
commonly known as "SIN"
as it is primarily
expressed.
Some other symptoms:
[a] Loss of direction
[b] Foul vocal
emissions
[c] Amnesia of origin
[d] Lack of peace and
joy
[e] Selfish, or
violent behavior
[f] Depression or
confusion in the
mental component
[g] Fearfulness
[h] Idolatry
[i] Rebellion
The Manufacturer, Who is
neither liable nor at fault
for this defect, is
providing factory authorized
repair and service free of
charge to correct this "SIN"
defect. The Repair
Technician, JESUS, has most
generously offered to bear
the entire burden of the
staggering cost of these
repairs.
There is no additional fee
required. The toll free
number to call for repair in
all areas is: P-R-A-Y-E-R.
Once connected, please
upload your burden of SIN
through the
REPENTANCE procedure. Next,
download ATONEMENT from the
Repair Technician, Jesus,
into the heart component. No
matter how big or small the
SIN defect is, the Jesus
will replace it with:
[a] Love
[b] Joy
[c] Peace
[d] Patience
[e] Kindness
[f] Goodness
[g] Faithfulness
[h] Gentleness
[i] Self-control
Please see the operating
manual, HOLY BIBLE, for
further details on the use
of these fixes. As an added
upgrade, the manufacturer
has made available to all
repaired units a facility
enabling direct monitoring
and assistance from a
resident Maintenance
Technician, the Holy Ghost.
Repaired units need only
make Him welcome and He will
take up permanent residence
on the premises!
WARNING: Continuing to
operate the human being unit
without correction voids the
Manufacturer's warranty,
exposing the unit to dangers
and problems too numerous to
list and will result in the
human unit being permanently
impounded. For free
emergency service, call on
JESUS.
DANGER: The human being
units not responding to this
recall action will have to
be scrapped in the furnace.
The SIN defect will not be
permitted to enter Heaven so
as to prevent contamination
of that facility.
Thank you for your
attention. Please assist
where possible by notifying
others of this important
recall notice.
THANKS FOR STOPPING BY I
HOPE YOU GOT SOMETHING FROM
THIS PAGE AND IF YOU KNOW
OF SOMEONE IT MAY HELP THEN
PLEASE PASS IT ON BEFORE IT
IS TOO LATE.
