THE
SECRET HUNT
AS THE
DEER STARTED WALKING AGAIN I TOOK CAREFUL AIM AND SQUEEZED THE
TRIGGER. “BOOM.” THE PISTOL BUCKED IN MY HAND AND THE DEER
FELL TO THE GROUND. THEN THIS VOICE SAID, “NICE SHOT.” I
JUMPED AND SAID, “WHAT! WHO! WHERE!” JOHN ROSE UP OUT OF THE
BIG BOULDERS ABOVE ME LAUGHING. HE HAD HIS CAMERA IN HIS
HANDS. HE SAID, “GOT YOU.”
ALL THIS
HAPPENED YEARS AGO WHEN I WAS HUNTING ON THE OLD MOSS RANCH
SOUTH OF LLANO, TEXAS. THERE WERE EIGHT OF US THAT HAD THE
“EAST GRAZE” PASTURE LEASED. IT CONSISTED OF TWO THOUSAND
ACRES OF PRIME DEER HABITAT IN THE HEART OF THE HILL COUNTRY.
WE HAD BEEN HUNTING ON IT FOR SEVERAL YEARS AND ALL OF US KNEW
THE PASTURE PRETTY WELL.
AS ALWAYS
WHEN A BUNCH OF GUYS HUNT TOGETHER FOR A LONG TIME THERE IS
FRIENDLY COMPETITION. THIS SEASON WE HAD ALL SEEN A NICE
EIGHT POINT BUCK ON A CERTAIN PART OF THE LEASE BUT NO ONE
HAD GOT A SHOT AT HIM. WE ALL KNEW HE STAYED IN THE CAT KNOB
AREA BUT THAT COVERED ABOUT 200 ACRES. EACH ONE OF US WANTED
THAT BIG BUCK. IF FOR NO OTHER REASON, TO SHOW THE OTHER SEVEN
HUNTERS THAT WE WERE BETTER AT HUNTING GAME THEN THEY WERE.
I KEPT
TELLING THEM I WOULD BE THE ONE THAT GOT HIM. OF COURSE EACH
OF THEM WAS SAYING THE SAME THING, BUT I HAD BEEN DOING A LOT
OF SCOUTING IN THE CAT KNOB AREA AND I HAD A SECRET WEAPON. I
HAD SEEN THIS BUCK THREE TIMES IN THE LATE AFTERNOON ON A
CERTAIN GAME TRAIL. SO I LAID MY PLANS CAREFULLY. THE ONLY
PERSON I TOLD WHERE I WOULD BE HUNTING THAT AFTERNOON WAS
JOHN. I KNEW HE WOULDN’T SAY ANYTHING TO THE REST OF THE
GANG.
AFTER
LUNCH I LAID DOWN TO TAKE A NAP, INTENDING TO BE UP AND
SITTING IN A BUNCH OF LARGE BOULDERS BESIDE THIS GAME TRAIL
ABOUT TWO HOURS BEFORE SUN DOWN. WHEN I WOKE UP I NOTICED THE
CABIN WAS QUITE. I LOOKED AT MY WATCH AND IT WAS ONLY AN HOUR
BEFORE SUN DOWN. OH MY GOSH, I'VE OVER SLEPT! EVERYONE ELSE
HAS ALREADY GONE OUT, THAT’S WHY IT’S SO QUITE.
I JUMPED
UP AND PUT MY BOOTS ON AND RAN OUT TO THE JEEP. MY PISTOL AND
GEAR WERE STILL IN THE JEEP FROM THE MORNING HUNT. I JUMPED
IN THE JEEP AND TORE OUT FOR MY SPOT IN THE BOULDERS. I DROVE
TO WITHIN 300 YARDS OF WHERE I’M GOING TO SET UP AND GRABBED
MY PISTOL AND A FIVE GALLON BUCKET OF CORN. I WALKED TO
WITHIN 50 YARDS OF WHERE I’LL HIDE IN THE ROCKS AND SPREAD THE
CORN AROUND ON THE GROUND AND THEN ALONG THE GAME TRAIL. THEN
I TAKE MY SECRET WEAPON OUT OF MY POCKET AND POUR IT ON THE
GROUND AND ON A SMALL BUSH ALONG SIDE OF THE TRAIL.
NOW I
HAVEN’T TOLD ANYONE ABOUT THIS SECRET WEAPON, NOT EVEN JOHN.
I PUT THIS LITTLE BOTTLE BACK IN MY POCKET AND GO TO MY HIDING
PLACE IN THE BOULDERS. I SETTLE DOWN IN MY FOX HOLE HOPING
THAT I WASN’T SO LATE THAT I HAD SPOOKED THAT BIG BUCK. AS I
SAT THERE MY BREATHING SETTLED DOWN AND I RELAXED. IT DIDN’T
TAKE LONG FOR THE BIRDS TO START SINGING AGAIN. THE WORLD WAS
QUITE AND PEACEFUL. A SQUIRREL CAME TO THE CORN AND STARTED
EATING. THEN TWO DOVES LANDED AND STARTED PECKING AT THE
CORN. I COULD HEAR THE BUZZ OF INSECTS. EVERYTHING WAS SO
QUITE AND PEACEFUL I DIDN’T CARE IF I SAW THAT BUCK THIS
EVENING OR NOT. I WAS ENJOYING NATURE AT IT’S BEST.
THEN I
HEARD IT. SOMETHING WALKING IN THE GRAVEL ON THE GAME TRAIL.
IT WAS ON MY RIGHT COMING UP THE TRAIL WHERE IT WOUND THROUGH
THE VERY BOULDERS WHERE I SAT. THE TRAIL CAME OUT OF THE
BOULDERS INTO THIS CLEARING NOT 20 YARDS FROM WHERE I SAT.
THE FOOT STEPS WOULD WALK A FEW STEPS THEN STOP, THEN WALK A
FEW MORE STEPS AND STOP AGAIN. I KNEW WHAT SLIGHT BREEZE
THERE WAS, WAS BLOWING THE SCENT OF MY SECRET WEAPON TOWARD
THE FOOT STEPS. ALL I HAD TO DO WAS BE PATIENT AND WAIT. I
WAITED AND LISTENED. AFTER AN ETERNITY I HEARD MORE FOOT
STEPS.
I THOUGHT
OF THAT LITTLE BOTTLE IN MY POCKET. THE LABEL ON THE BOTTLE
SAID, “TINKS DOE IN HEAT URINE.” I WONDERED IF IT REALLY MADE
BUCKS COME TO IT WHEN THEY SMELLED IT. WELL I WAS ABOUT TO
FIND OUT. BY THIS TIME THE SOUND OF THE STEPS TOLD ME THE
DEER WAS RIGHT AT THE EDGE OF THE CLEARING. BUT IT HAD
STOPPED STILL IN THE BOULDERS. I STILL COULD NOT SEE IT. IT
STOOD THERE AT THE EDGE OF THE BOULDERS JUST FAR ENOUGH BACK
SO I COULDN’T SEE IT.
THEN A FLY
LIT ON MY NOSE. I DIDN’T DARE MOVE TO SHOO IT AWAY. IT
STARTED CRAWLING UP TO MY GLASSES. I WAS TRYING TO BLOW IT
OFF BY BLOWING MY BREATH OUT OF THE CORNER OF MY MOUTH, BUT
THAT DIDN’T WORK. THIS FLY WAS DRIVING ME CRAZY. FINALLY IT
FLEW OFF. THE DEER HADN’T MOVED FOR SOMETIME. BUT I HADN’T
HEARD HIM LEAVE EITHER. SO I WAITED.
IT WAS SO
QUIET I COULD HEAR MY WRIST WATCH TICKING.
TIC TIC
TIC TIC
TIC TIC
BY THIS
TIME I HAD MY PISTOL UP AND WAS READY TO SHOOT. I SAT THERE
AND WAITED AND WAITED AND WAITED.
TIC TIC
TIC TIC
TIC TIC
MY HEART
WAS POUNDING SO HARD I WAS AFRAID THE DEER WOULD HEAR IT. MY
THROAT WAS DRY AND MY BREATH BEGAN TO COME IN SHORT QUICK
PUFFS. SWEAT POPPED OUT ON MY FOREHEAD AND MY HANDS BEGAN TO
SHAKE.
TIC TIC
TIC TIC
TIC TIC
SWEAT RAN
DOWN INTO MY EYES AND MADE MY EYES BURN. I THOUGHT I WAS
GOING BLIND!
TIC TIC
TIC TIC
TIC TIC
WILL THAT
DEER NOT EVER STEP OUT INTO THE OPEN? THIS IS ENOUGH TO GIVE
A FELLOW A HEART ATTACK! I’VE ONLY BEEN HUNTING 30 YEARS, I
DON’T GET BUCK FEVER.
FINALLY HE
STEPPED OUT FROM BEHIND THE ROCKS AND THERE HE WAS. THE BIG
EIGHT POINT BUCK THAT EVERYONE HAD BEEN HUNTING ALL WEEK
LONG. AS HE STARTED WALKING I TOOK CAREFUL AIM AND SQUEEZED
THE TRIGGER. THE PISTOL BUCKED IN MY HAND AND THE DEER FELL
DEAD. THEN THIS VOICE SAID, “NICE SHOT.” I JUMPED AND LOOKED
AROUND. JOHN ROSE UP OUT OF THE BOULDERS ABOVE ME. HE HAD
HIS CAMERA IN HIS HANDS. HE LAUGHED AND SAID, “NOW I KNOW HOW
YOU KILL ALL THOSE BIG BUCKS AND I’VE GOT IT ALL ON FILM.
WOULD YOU LIKE TO BUY SOME FILM OR SHOULD I HAVE IT DEVELOPED
AND SELL PICTURES TO THE REST OF THE GUYS?”
MY ANSWER
TO JOHN IS A WHOLE NOTHER STORY FOR A DIFFERENT TIME. AN X
RATED STORY!
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