MY FRIEND THE HOG HUNTER

PAT IS EITHER ONE OF THE BRAVEST OR ONE OF THE MOST FOOLHARDY HUNTERS I KNOW.  EITHER WAY HE ALWAYS COMES HOME WITH GAME.  I’LL LET YOU DECIDE WHICH ONE YOU THINK HE IS FOR YOURSELF.  OF COURSE WILD HOGS ARE NOT THE ONLY GAME HE HUNTS BUT WILD HOG HUNTING IS WHAT GOT HIM HIS REPUTATION.

PAT’S FATHER-IN-LAW, PETE, OWNS A RANCH IN SOUTH TEXAS.  THIS IS ONE OF THE PLACES HE GOES TO HOG HUNT.  PETE HAS THREE DOGS THAT LOVE TO HUNT AND THEY WILL FOLLOW PAT WHERE EVER HE GOES ON THE RANCH.  THEIR NAMES ARE NELLIE, FRISKY AND SAM.  FRISKY IS 12 YEARS OLD AND IS BEGINNING TO SLOW DOWN.  BUT SHE IS STILL THE BEST TRAILER OF THE THREE.  SAM KNOWS NO FEAR AND WILL TACKLE A 200 POUND HOG BY HIMSELF.  NELLIE IS PROBABLY THE SMARTEST OF THE THREE.

ON ONE TRIP TO THE RANCH PAT WAS GOING TO HUNT THE HOGS AT NIGHT FROM A BLIND.  PAT HAD BUILT THIS BLIND ON THE FENCE LINE NEXT TO THE FIELD PETE PLANTED CORN IN.  A ROAD RAN DOWN THE OUTSIDE OF THE FENCE AND THE BLIND WAS BETWEEN THE ROAD AND THE FENCE.  PETE KNEW PAT WAS COMING SO HE HAD BEEN BAITING THE HOGS WITH CORN OUT IN FRONT OF THE BLIND.  PETE TOLD PAT THAT THE HOGS ONLY CAME TO THE CORN LATE AT NIGHT.  SO PAT DECIDED HE WOULD GO TO THE BLIND ABOUT MID-NIGHT.  HE LEFT THE DOGS AT THE HOUSE AND WENT TO SIT IN THE BLIND AND WAIT FOR A HOG TO COME OUT OF THE BRUSH TO THE CORN. 

HE HAD HIS RIFLE AND A 22 MAGNUM PISTOL AND A SPOT LIGHT WITH A RED LENS ON IT.  AS HE SAT IN THE BLIND WAITING HE THOUGH OF ALL THE HOGS HE HAD KILLED ON THIS RANCH.  PAT WAS NEVER ONE TO LET ANYTHING GO TO WASTE.  WHEN PAT KILLS A HOG HE WOULD SKIN IT AND CUT THE MEAT UP AND EITHER PUT IT IN PETE’S FREEZER OR GIVE IT TO SOME NEEDY FAMILY, OF WHICH THERE WERE SEVERAL AROUND CLOSE TO PETE’S RANCH.

ALL OF A SUDDEN PAT HEARD SOMETHING OUT AT THE CORN.  HE TURNED ON HIS SPOT LIGHT AND SHINED IT AT THE PLACE WHERE THE CORN WAS ON THE GROUND.  THERE WAS AN ANIMAL AT THE CORN BUT IT WAS NOT A HOG.  IT WAS A BIG COON.  NOW PAT DIDN’T WANT TO SHOOT THE COON, BUT HE DIDN’T WANT HIM EATING ALL THE CORN EITHER.  SO HE CLIMBED DOWN OUT OF THE BLIND AND WALKED OUT TO WHERE TO COON WAS EATING CORN TO SCARE HIM OFF.  HE HADN’T TAKEN HIS RIFLE OR SPOT LIGHT.  ALL HE HAD WAS A LITTLE 2 CELL FLASH LIGHT AND HIS 22 MAGNUM PISTOL, WHICH WAS IN A HOLSTER ON HIS BELT.  AS HE GOT CLOSE TO THE COON, THE COON SCUTTLED OFF INTO THE BRUSH.  PAT WAS JUST TURNING BACK TO GO GET IN THE BLIND WHEN HE HEARD HOGS COMING OUT OF THE BRUSH TOWARD THE CORN.  THEY WERE COMING ALMOST STRAIGHT TOWARD HIM AND THEY WERE BETWEEN HIM AND THE BLIND.  HE COULDN’T GO BACK AFTER HIS RIFLE WITHOUT SCARING THE HOGS AWAY.

HE STOOD THERE IN THE DARK LISTENING TO THE HOGS GETTING CLOSER AND CLOSER.  NOW THEY WEREN’T MORE THEN 20 YARDS FROM HIM.  HE KNEW HOGS COULD BE MEAN WHEN THEY WERE IN A BUNCH AND THIS SOUNDED LIKE A BIG BUNCH.  PAT DREW HIS PISTOL AND FLICKED ON HIS LITTLE FLASH LIGHT.  RIGHT THERE IN FRONT OF HIM WAS A BIG HOG.  HE WAS NOT MORE THEN 10 YARDS AWAY NOW.  PAT TOOK AIM WITH HIS PISTOL AND PULLED THE TRIGGER.

WELL ABOUT THAT TIME ALL HELL BROKE LOOSE.  HE HAD AIMED AT THE HOGS HEAD AND HE KNEW HE HAD HIT IT.  THE HOG STARTED SQUEALING AND RAN TOWARD PAT.  THE OTHER HOGS SCATTERED LIKE A COVEY OF QUAIL, GRUNTING AND SQUEALING.  PAT STEPPED TO ONE SIDE AND THE HOG THAT HE HAD SHOT RAN RIGHT BY HIM.  AS IT RAN BY PAT SHOT IT TWO MORE TIMES IN THE HEAD.  BUT THAT DIDN’T STOP THE HOG.  IT RAN INTO THE THICK BRUSH BESIDE THE ROAD. 

NOW PAT HAD A WOUNDED HOG ON HIS HANDS AND IT WAS IN THE THICK BEE BRUSH.  THE BRUSH WAS TO THICK TO WALK THROUGH, BUT THERE WERE MANY GAME OR HOG TRAILS THROUGH IT.  THE ONLY WAY A MAN COULD FOLLOW THESE TRAILS WAS ON HIS HANDS AND KNEES.    THERE WAS NO MOON TONIGHT AND IT WAS PITCH DARK IN THAT BRUSH.  PAT STOOD THERE FOR A MINUTE THINKING WHAT HE SHOULD DO NOW.  HE KNEW HE COULDN’T LEAVE THAT WOUNDED ANIMAL TO SUFFER. 

FINALLY HE DECIDED TO GO BACK TO THE HOUSE AND GET THE DOGS.  HE KNEW HE COULDN’T HANDLE A RIFLE IN SUCH TIGHT QUARTERS SO HE WAS GOING TO HAVE TO USE A PISTOL.  HE ALSO KNEW THE LITTLE 22 MAGNUM WAS NOT ENOUGH PISTOL FOR THIS KIND OF WORK, SO HE GOT HIS .45 CALIBER RUGER.  HE ALSO GOT A BIG 3 CELL FLASH LIGHT.

HE DROVE BACK TO THE PLACE THE WOUNDED HOG HAD RAN INTO THE BRUSH AND LET THE DOGS OUT.  THEY WERE IMMEDIATELY ON THE SCENT OF THE HOGS AND TOOK OFF INTO THE BRUSH.  PAT HAD NO WAY OF KNOWING IF THEY WERE TRAILING THE WOUNDED HOG OR ONE OF THE MANY OTHERS.  ALL HE KNEW WAS THEY WERE HOT ON THE TRAIL OF SOME HOGS.  PAT GOT DOWN ON HIS HANDS AND KNEES AND CRAWLED INTO THE BRUSH AFTER THEM.

HE HAD CRAWLED ABOUT 20 YARDS ALONG THIS TRAIL WHEN HE HEARD THE DOGS START BARKING AND A HOG START SQUEALING.  THE FIGHT WAS ON.  PAT HAD TO GET TO THE FIGHT BEFORE ONE OF THE DOGS GOT HURT.  HE CAME TO A CROSS TRAIL THAT LOOKED LIKE IT MIGHT LEAD TO WHERE THE DOGS WERE.  HE TOOK IT AND WAS CRAWLING AS FAST AS HE COULD.  THE BARKING, SQUEALING, GROWLING AND GRUNTING GOT LOUDER AS PAT GOT CLOSER TO THE FIGHT.

ALL OF A SUDDEN PAT LOOKED UP AND HERE CAME A VERY LARGE HOG DOWN THE TRAIL STRAIGHT AT HIM WITH THE DOGS IN HOT PURSUIT.  THERE WAS NO ROOM FOR HIM TO GET OUT OF THE WAY IN THIS TUNNEL OF BRUSH AND NO TIME FOR PAT TO DRAW HIS PISTOL, SO HE JUST LAY FLAT ON THE GROUND AND PUT HIS HANDS OVER THE BACK OF HIS NECK.  THE HOG WAS BEING HARD PRESSED BY THE DOGS AND DIDN’T EVEN SLOW DOWN WHEN HE GOT TO PAT. IT RAN RIGHT DOWN HIS BACK AND LEGS.  THEN TO ADD INSULT TO INJURY THE DOGS DID THE SAME THING.  THEY DIDN’T EVEN SLOW DOWN TO LET PAT KNOW WHAT WAS GOING ON. 

THE HOGS SHARP HOOFS HAD CUT AND SCRATCHED PAT’S BACK AND LEGS AS IT WENT OVER HIM.  PAT LAY THERE FOR A MINUTE WONDERING WHAT HE WAS DOING OUT HERE ANYWAY.  HE TURNED AROUND AND STARTED BACK TOWARD THE ROAD.  HE WAS MOVING A LOT SLOWER GOING BACK THEN HE HAD COMING IN. HIS KNEES WERE BEGINNING TO HURT AS WELL AS HIS BACK.  HE HAD GONE ABOUT HALF WAY BACK WHEN HE HEARD THE DOGS GETTING CLOSER AGAIN.  THIS HOG WAS REALLY GIVING THEM A RUN FOR THEIR MONEY.

JUST THEN PAT REALIZED THEY WERE COMING RIGHT BACK DOWN THE TUNNEL HE WAS IN.  PAT DREW HIS PISTOL AND LAID OVER ON HIS SIDE SO HE COULD HOLD THE FLASH LIGHT WITH ONE HAND AND HIS PISTOL WITH THE OTHER.  JUST THEN THE HOG CAME INTO SIGHT, RUNNING ALL OUT WITH THE DOGS RIGHT BEHIND IT.  PAT POINTED HIS PISTOL AT THE HOG AND SQUEEZED THE TRIGGER, BAM, AGAIN BAM, AGAIN BAM.  THE HOG FELL DEAD NOT THREE FEET IN FRONT OF PAT.  THE DOGS WERE IMMEDIATELY ON IT.  GROWLING AND BITING IT.   PAT’S LAYING THERE ALMOST NOSE TO NOSE WITH THIS BIG MEAN LOOKING HOG ASKING HIMSELF IF HE WAS HAVING FUN.  I DON’T THINK WE REALLY WANT TO KNOW WHAT HIS ANSWER WAS RIGHT THEN.

WHEN THE DOGS REALIZED THE HOG WAS DEAD, THEY STOPPED AND STOOD THERE LOOKING AT PAT, AS IF TO SAY AREN’T YOU PROUD OF US.  WE BROUGHT YOU A HOG.  PAT SAID, “THAT WAS A GOOD JOB GUYS BUT NEXT TIME DON’T BRING HIM SO CLOSE.”

PAT PULLED THE HOG OUT TO THE ROAD AND LOADED IT INTO THE BACK OF THE TRUCK.  HE TOOK IT BACK TO THE BARN AND HUNG IT UP AND SKINNED IT OUT AND THEN CUT IT UP INTO QUARTERS AND PUT IT IN HIS IGLOO ICE CHEST.  THEN HE WENT INTO THE HOUSE AND WOKE UP HIS WIFE AND ASKED HER TO LOOK AT HIS BACK.  WHEN DORA LOOKED AT ALL THE CUTS AND SCRATCHES ON HIS BACK AND THE BACK OF HIS LEGS SHE WANTED TO KNOW WHAT HAD HAPPENED.

PAT TOLD HER HE GOT RUN OVER BY A HOG.  SHE JUST SHOOK HER HEAD AND ASKED, “WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN DRINKING?”   AFTER DOCTORING ALL HIS CUTS AND SCRATCHES THEY WENT TO BED.  DORA WONDERED WHAT PETE WOULD HAVE TO SAY ABOUT PAT GETTING RUN OVER BY A HOG.  BUT THAT’S A WHOLE NOTHER STORY FOR A DIFFERENT TIME.