Only a true Southerner knows the difference between

a hissie fit and a conniption, and that you don't

"HAVE" them, -- you "PITCH" them.
 

Only a true Southerner knows how many fish, collard

greens, turnip greens, peas, beans, etc. make up "a mess."
 

Only a true Southerner can show or point out to you the
   general direction of "over yonder."

 

Only a true Southerner knows exactly how long

"directly" is - as in:  "Going to town, be back directly."
 

All true Southerners, even babies, know that

"Gimme some sugar" is not a request for the white,

granular sweet substance that sits in a pretty little

bowl on the middle of the table.
 

All true Southerners know exactly when

"by and by" is. They might not use the term,

but they know the concept well.
 

Only a true Southerner knows instinctively that the

best gesture of solace for a neighbor who's got

trouble is a plate of hot fried chicken and a big

bowl of cold potato salad. (If the neighbor's

trouble is a real crisis, they also know to add

a large banana puddin'!)
 

Only true Southerners grow up knowing the

difference between "right near" and "a right

far piece." They also know that "just down

the road" can be 1 mile or 20.
 

Only a true Southerner both knows and

understands the difference between a

redneck, a good ol' boy, and po' white trash.
 

No true Southerner would ever assume

that the car with the flashing turn signal is

actually going to make a turn.

A true Southerner knows that "fixin'"

can be used as a noun, a verb, or an adverb.

 

Only a true Southerner knows that the

term "booger" can be a resident of the nose,

a descriptive, as in "that ol' booger," a first

name or something that jumps out at you

in the dark and scares you senseless.

 

Only true Southerners make friends while

standing in lines. We don't do "queues",

we do "lines," and when we're "in line," we

   talk to everybody!
 

Put 100 true Southerners in a room and

half of them will discover they're related,

even if only by marriage.
 

True Southerners never refer to one person

as "y'all."

True Southerners know grits come from corn

and how to eat 'em.

 

Every true Southerner knows tomatoes with

eggs, bacon, grits, and coffee are perfectly

wonderful; that redeye gravy is also a breakfast

food; and that fried green tomatoes are not

a breakfast food.

 

When you hear someone say, "Well, I caught

myself alookin' .. ,"  you know you are in the

presence of a genuine Southerner!
 

Only true Southerners say "sweet tea" and

"sweet milk." Sweet tea indicates the need

for sugar and lots of it - we do not like our

tea unsweetened. "Sweet milk" means you

don't want buttermilk.
 

A true Southerner knows that if you are with

a couple of friends you, you could be with

2 or 10.  The number doesn't matter.
 

And a true Southerner knows you don't

scream obscenities at little old ladies who

drive 30 MPH on the freeway. You just
 

say, "Bless her heart" and go your own way.