UNCLE BEN’S WHOLE GRAIN

WILD RICE

“QUICK JUNIOR, GET ME ANOTHER PAN!”  WAYNE SHOUTED.  “THERE AIN’T NO MORE PANS!”  JUNIOR CAME BACK.  “NOW WHAT DO WE DO?”  WAYNE WANTED TO KNOW.  “I DON’T KNOW.”  WAILED JUNIOR.  “WELL GET OUT OF THE WAY.”  WAYNE HOLLERED, AS HE MADE A RUN FOR THE DOOR.

MY BROTHER WAYNE AND HIS FRIEND JUNIOR HAD GONE TO THE CABIN ON A PRIVATE LAKE OWNED BY JUNIOR’S FOLKS.  HENRY PARNELL III WAS KNOWN AS JUNIOR AND HIS OLDER BROTHER HENRY PARNELL II WAS KNOWN AS SONNY. 

SONNY AND I HAD GONE OVER TO LAKE CHEROKEE TO FISH AND WAYNE AND JUNIOR HAD GONE TO THE PARNELL’S CABIN ON THE PRIVATE LAKE TO DUCK HUNT.  WAYNE AND HENRY WERE BOTH TWELVE YEARS OLD AT THE TIME.

 WHEN THEY CAME BACK TO THE CABIN AFTER A MORNINGS HUNT, THEY WERE HUNGRY.  AFTER GOING THROUGH ALL THE CABINETS, ALL THEY FOUND WAS A TWO POUND BOX OF UNCLE BEN’S WHOLE GRAIN WILD RICE.  THE PARNELL’S HAD CLOSED UP THE CABIN FOR THE WINTER AND THERE JUST WERE NO GROCERIES LEFT IN THE CABIN.  OBVIOUSLY THE BOX OF RICE HAD BEEN OVER LOOKED.

THE BOYS DIDN’T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT COOKING, BUT THEY WERE HUNGER.  JUNIOR’S FOLKS WERE SUPPOSE TO PICK THEM UP ABOUT 1:00 PM, BUT THAT WAS STILL TWO HOURS OFF.  THEY WERE HUNGRY NOW.   SO THEY DECIDED TO COOK THE RICE.

JUNIOR GOT OUT A TWO QUART SAUCE PAN AND FILLED IT HALF FULL OF WATER.  HE OPENED THE BOX OF RICE AND POURED THE WHOLE TWO POUNDS IN THE PAN.    THIS FILLED THE PAN TO THE BRIM AND SOME OF THE WATER SLOSHED OUT ONTO THE STOVE.   HE TURNED THE FIRE ON UNDER THE PAN AND HE TURNED IT UP HIGH.  THEY WERE HUNGRY AND THEY WANTED THE RICE TO COOK IN A HURRY.

AS THE WATER WARMED UP THE RICE STARTED TO SWELL.  THE PAN WAS ALREADY FULL AND THE RICE BEGAN TO OVER FLOW.  WAYNE GRABBED ANOTHER PAN AND POURED HALF THE RICE INTO IT.  THEN ADDED MORE WATER AND SET IT ON A SECOND BURNER. 

AS THE RICE CONTINUED TO SWELL BOTH PANS STARTED OVERFLOWING ONTO THE STOVE.  NOW THINGS WERE REALLY BEGINNING TO GET OUT OF HAND.   THE RICE WAS BOILING OUT OF BOTH PANS ONTO THE STOVE AND WAS STARTING TO RUN DOWN THE SIDE OF THE STOVE.

“QUICK JUNIOR GET ME ANOTHER PAN!” WAYNE SHOUTED.  “THERE AIN’T NO MORE PANS.” JUNIOR CAME BACK.  “NOW WHAT DO WE DO?” WAYNE WANTED TO KNOW.  “I DON’T KNOW JUNIOR WAILED.”  AS HE STOOD THERE WITH HIS HANDS TO EITHER SIDE OF HIS FACE.  WAYNE GRABBED A PAN AND HOLLERED “WELL GET OUT OF THE WAY.”

JUNIOR JUST STOOD THERE WITH HIS HANDS ON HIS CHEEKS SAYING OVER AND OVER, “OH NO, OH NO, OH NO.”  WAYNE MADE A RUN FOR THE FRONT DOOR, LEAVING A TRAIL OF UNCLE BEN’S WHOLE GRAIN WILD RICE BEHIND HIM.  HE JERKED THE DOOR OPEN AND THREW THE PAN OUT INTO THE YARD.

THEN HE RAN BACK TO THE STOVE AND GRABBED THE OTHER PAN.  JUNIOR WAS STILL ROOTED TO THE SAME SPOT WATCHING THE RICE CRAWL OUT OF THE PAN AND DOWN THE SIDE OF THE STOVE.  THE FIRE WAS STILL ON AND BURNING THE RICE ON THE STOVE TO A BLACK CRUST. 

WAYNE GRABBED THE SECOND PAN AND STARTED HIS RUN TO THE DOOR.  BUT HE NEVER MADE IT TO THE DOOR.  HE SKIDDED ON THE RICE ON THE FLOOR AND HIS FEET WENT OUT FROM UNDER HIM.  THE PAN FLEW UP AND HIT THE CEILING, SPLATTERING RICE ONTO THE CEILING AND ALL OVER THE ROOM.

WAYNE LAY THERE ON THE FLOOR SAYING, “OH, OH, OH” OVER AND OVER.  JUNIOR WAS STILL STANDING NEXT TO THE STOVE WITH HIS HANDS TO HIS CHEEKS SAYING, “OH NO, OH NO, OH NO” OVER AND OVER. 

ABOUT THAT TIME MRS. PARNELL WALKED IN THE DOOR.  SHE HAD COME DOWN EARLY TO GET THE BOYS.  SHE KNEW THEY WOULD BE HUNGRY AND THERE WAS NOTHING IN THE CABIN FOR THEM TO EAT.

WHAT SHE SAID IS A WHOLE NOTHER STORY FOR A DIFFERENT TIME.