Where's My Sign?

  Stupid people should have to wear signs that just say,
    "I'm Stupid." That way you wouldn't rely on them,
  would you? You wouldn't ask them anything. It would be
    like, "Excuse me...oops...never mind, didn't see your
    sign."

  It's like before my wife and I moved. Our house was
    full of boxes and there was a U-Haul truck in our
 driveway. My neighbor comes over and says, "Hey, you
  moving?" "Nope. We just pack our stuff up once or
  twice a week to see how many boxes it takes. Here's
    your sign."

  A couple of months ago I went fishing with a buddy of
    mine, we pulled his boat into the dock, I lifted up
    this big ol' stringer of bass and this idiot on the
  dock goes, "Hey, y'all catch all them fish?" "Nope.
    Talked 'em into giving up.. Here's your sign."

    I was watching one of those animal shows on the
 Discovery Channel. There was a guy inventing a shark
    bite suit. And there's only o! ne way to test it.
  "Alright, Jimmy, you got that shark suit on, it looks
    good...
They want you to jump into this pool of sharks, and
    you tell us if it hurts
    when they bite you." "Well, all right, but hold my
    sign. I don't wanna lose
    it."

    Last time I had a flat tire, I pulled my truck into
    one of those side-of-the-road gas stations. The
  attendant walks out, looks at my truck, looks at me,
    and I SWEAR he said, "Tire go flat?" I couldn't
 resist. I said, "Nope. I was driving around and those
    other three just swelled right up on me. Here's your
    sign."

 We were trying to sell our car about a year ago. A guy
  came over to the house and drove the car around for
 about 45 minutes. We get back to the house, he gets
  out of the car, reaches down and grabs the exhaust
 pipe, then says, "Darn that's hot!" See, if he'd been
    wearing his sign, I could have stopped him.

I learned to drive an 18-wheeler in my days of
 adventure. Wouldn't you know, I misjudged the height
    of a bridge. The truck got stuck and I couldn't get it
    out, no matter how I tried. I radioed in for help and
eventually a local cop shows up to take the report. He
    went through his basic questioning ... okay....no
 problem. I thought for sure he was clear of needing a
    sign...until he asked, "So, is your truck stuck?" I
  couldn't help myself! I looked at him, looked back at
    the rig and then back to him and said, "No, I'm
    delivering a bridge... here's your sign."

 I stayed late at work one night and a co-worker looked
  at me and said, "Are you still here?" I replied, "No.
  I left about 10 minutes ago. Here's your sign."

  Anybody you know need a sign today? Send this to all
  your friends. The next time someone says something
  stupid, ask them where their sign is.

by Andy Rooney